You Matter!

To the loneliest and most traumatized of men and women, may you be reminded you on how important you are to your loved ones, to the people who care about you and to the people who understands what you are going through. I know you have had very rough days lately and I know you are struggling real hard with your mental issues

So you deserve to be loved, to be valued, to matter to people like how a mom misses her son who went on a camping trip or like how a woman misses her boyfriend in a long distance relationship. You deserve the best things in the world so be strong. Cry if you must and let those tears soothe your pain. Shout out your frustrations and agonies at the top of your lungs until you get to relax again.

Next time you see your family, your friend or a loved one, tell them that you love them and tell them what's bothering you if you want. Cherish every memory and cherish every person you are close with as long as they are still around. May their love project unto you so you can get to love yourself again. It may not be easy but that's a start. Let them inspire you, empower you to be a better person everyday so that you can reach your goals and dreams that give your life significant meaning. Again, you deserve the best.

You are loved, you are wanted, you are important. Your feelings are valid, your pain is valid and your entire existence is valid. Kindness makes the biggest difference in a toxic ocean of chaos, hate and disorder. Let me just say I hear you, I see you, I understand you and most of all I love you just the way you are no matter what. Always take good care of yourselves.

You matter!

Write, Write, Write!

Writing for me is as a passion where I get to express myself and process my ideas and thoughts. There are days when I am prolific in my writings and there are days when I don't have the energy to write. They are nonetheless great cathartic avenues of my soul and to send some sort of messages to others. Poetry is the type of writing when I get most creative and I find it easier than making short stories or even thinking about writing a novel. 

As of this typing, I have 81 journals or diaries in my possession and I have been writing these since July 2009. It gave me a voice through the years as I experience both ups and downs of life, a roller coaster if you will. Maybe one day I will be able to share some excerpts or some stories other people may be able to relate to. 

One of my influences is Anne Frank who wrote a diary while in hiding from the Nazis during World War II. Another one is the Freedom Writers Diary which is an inspirational concept devised by a teacher named Erin Gruwell and the spark of this idea came from her reaction of a stereotypical caricature one of her students drew. 

Writing is also an endeavor where I get to discover and explore myself more as well as other things that goes on in the world. It could be current events, anything philosophical or maybe political. It also helps me understand myself and other people more since I am a student of psychology myself. I have been doing this for quite a while and it has always been an enlightening venture. 

Some Guidelines in Writing

If you want to write, write as if it gives you a sense of purpose and some meaning in life. I promise you, you will learn a great deal about yourself and the world around you. Write as if it is your life blood. If you want to learn something new, read something and write according to your own understanding. Write anything that catches your eye and you find something extraordinary in this mundane world like how beautiful a technicolor butterfly is or how breathtaking the sunset along Manila Bay is. It will not only open your eyes, it will also open your heart to a world of infinite possibilities if you dare to be creative, if you are determined to let people listen to your voice no matter what kind of message you are sending. It give you courage to put yourself out there both in fiction and non-fiction. 

Let me end with a poem I have made just now: 

A Wordsmith's Dream

May your pen spit out the ink,

Like your soul pouring out into the sink.

For the world to see what your dreams are,

Only to witness your progress going so far. 

You're the wordsmith of your life,

You write down your pain, you passion, your strife.

Dream long, dream hard as if there is no tomorrow,

While you disclose both your joys and sorrow. 

Tell your story with your loudest voice,

Be truthful in the dark forest of noise.

Embrace your truth and your words.

Share to the world your inner world.

Be like Hemingway, Poe and Emerson.

Be like Shakespeare and Dante.

Be like Lewis, Dickens and Tolkien.

Be like them, yes, but be yourself.

Make your own name among the greats,

Only with your voice will you settle your fate.

Be a wordsmith of your own life,

Live the dream with perseverance and strive!

May God bless you all!

Listen

If someone opens up to you about their mental health, don't feel like you have to have all the answers. Simply listening can be enough.

— YoungMinds (@YoungMindsUK) June 14, 2021

 

Listen, simply listen. It is the best thing we can do. Attentive, non-judgmental, active listening is an act of love where we feel that we matter because that person is giving his whole undivided attention and time. Just be with that person in his time of sorrow. There's nothing to fix, just let things be. There's no need for advice because what if the person won't accept the advice? 

I am speaking from a type of psychotherapy devised by American psychologist Carl Rogers which is focused on what he called Person-Centered Therapy. This therapy typically shows that the client alone has the authority to figure things out and in what direction he is going in life. The therapist is only there as a guide in searching for the answers.

A part of his therapy dwells on how we treat others. Unconditional Positive Regard is, in essence, an attitude where we accept, appreciate and love the person as he is. We are merely validating his existence and his experience as a human being. There are no conditions here. There are no debates here. It is an ultimate attitude of caring. Listening is an essential skill which is part of unconditional positive regard. 

If only every person is aware of this, I promise you the great possibility that the world can be a much better place. I am not being idealistic here, I am just being humanistic. Treat every person as they are, a human being, not as an object or something that needs fixing. They will love you for it, that I can tell you. 

Message of Hope

No matter how bad things may get with everything cruel happening in the world even with the pandemic changing our lives every single day, know that you are never alone in your pain and there will always be hope and light at the end of the tunnel. Do not let other people define you. They may be able to control everything but there are things they will never change and take away and that is your personality, your dreams and your will to survive and thrive. You do not need their validation nor their underestimation. You do you and let them do them. There is freewill to choose on how we live our lives and how we want to grow. Remain humble and kind even with the people have wronged you so bad that you wouldn't even want to forgive them. You would be the better person if you remain humble and kind. You wouldn't want to make the world more miserable than it is, right? Just do not lose your humanity in the process. Kindness and compassion is what we all need, not dehumanization in all forms. 

I do believe the fact that human beings are social creatures with the capacity to help one another and make a positive difference in other people's lives by ways of inspiration, motivation and encouragement. This is one way to build a community of love and values. In cultural psychology, we call that Collectivism which means we do not only care for ourselves but also care for one another, to help each other grow into better people. This is what I envision and I hope this will one day come into fruition. Don't be disheartened because there always be people caring for you no matter how far they are and no matter how alone you feel. 

Take solace in the thought that you will not lose yourself as God is always there to guide you and help you (I don't mean to offend atheists or agnostics but this is what I see). Believe that He understands your pain and you may take refuge in Him. Believe that hope will never expire. 

I want you to know that you are important, you are special, you matter and you are loved. Acknowledge this and you are already on the way to a better place.

May God bless you all. 

Mental Health Reminder

I will post reminders like this every now and then. As a mental health advocate, I do believe things like this will make a big difference to many people. Always remember...

If you were looking for a sign, here it is:

- Just breathe
- You're stronger than your struggles
- You're alive and you matter

— Against Suicide (@AgainstSuicide) May 23, 2021

A Body of Cross and Light

In the darkest of times do we discover our strengths,

Carrying our crosses wherever we go at great lengths,

Not knowing where we end up in the great future,

Whether we see the light full of major sutures

Or discern our choices to make the best of our lives

And rise to the occasion with words, not with knives.

Come and join with me on this life-long journey,

To create a community of wise sensibilities,

To carry our crosses and to envision our lights

So that we can say to ourselves "I am alive!" with might.

Welcome, welcome, my lads and lasses to this blog

As I invite you to peruse a piece of my wide world.

And to share a piece of our worlds together, 

In an ongoing creation of life to cherish and savor,

And partake this common body of cross and light

As vagabonds of our own eloquent endeavors.

May God bless us all!